I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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