were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
