I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
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We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
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I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
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