Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She bit a glass in half.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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