I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
