I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
