he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Randomize
