forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
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is this the sara with the beer cane?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
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He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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