I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
