Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
