ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
