The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
