hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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