Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
