"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Randomize
