I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
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There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
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And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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