The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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