I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
