i just had sex bonerless
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
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There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
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We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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