She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
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I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
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I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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