i don't like sucking hair
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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