He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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