Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
