My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
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