Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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