I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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