Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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