i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
