I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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