Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
