and you said cock pushups were impossible
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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