Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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