I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
