it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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