She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
