I'm drive I can fine osifer
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
