She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
