bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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