The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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