let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
