i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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