I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize