We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
