What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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