Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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