3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize