I think I died a long time ago.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
