i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
