her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
