i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
