so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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