I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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