"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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