she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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