margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
