ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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