I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
