I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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